Livin’ with the rents?

You’ve done it, you’ve graduated from college! What’s next?

Graduate School? A job waiting for you in the city? Looking for a job in the city? Looking for a job, period? Perhaps the easiest question to answer is: where will you be living?

Woman moving inBack home with the ‘rents.

You haven’t been permanently back under their roof in four years. Lots of thoughts swirl around your head. “I guess I can’t make pizza rolls at 3 a.m., don’t think mom and pop will appreciate the sounds of the microwave that early.” “Will my family judge me if I’m in bed until 1 p.m.?” “Welp, there goes any chance of me having a love life.” “Who am I supposed to play late-night guitar hero with?”

It can’t be that bad . . . right?

Hilary Weidman graduated Lehigh University in May 2009. Since then, she has made the decision to go to graduate school and live with her parents in their home outside Philadelphia.

“There is a lot less freedom living at home with my parents than living at school with my roommates,” Weidman says. “I feel uncomfortable staying out until 4 a.m. or bringing friends (or boyfriends) back to my parents’ house, whereas this was the opposite during college.”

Even though Weidman feels living on her own leads to a better social life, a favorite part of living at home for her is having a more structured and healthy lifestyle. She also has the benefit of free amenities.

“I find that I am a lot more helpful around the house though than I was before going to college,” she says. “Probably because I feel somewhat guilty getting all of these luxuries for free.”

Living on her own at college was a test run for the real thing, and Weidman is a little nervous about moving out for good.

“I know what to expect when I move out . . . being independent, paying bills, cooking, cleaning . . .” Weidman says. “But those expectations will never truly hit me until I permanently move out of my parents’ house. I am nervous for that day to come.”

Weidman says after she saves some money and finishes grad school next year, she would like to be out of her parent’s house.

Chelsey Tolerico also graduated in May 2009 and is now a paid intern at a public relations firm in New York City. She resides with her family in New Jersey, and they are happy to have her home.

“My parents enjoy having me home,” Tolerico says. “Or at least that’s what they have been saying to my face! My younger brother and sister are in college now, so I think my mom enjoys the company while my dad is at work. We do a lot of family things together. They are also proud of the fact that I’ve chosen to stay at home and save some money rather than jumping right into rent payments that I can’t realistically afford right now.”

In the Tolerico house, Chelsey gets free cable, wireless, laundry, and food, more specifically, “a four-course Italian meal once a week”. She does, however, have to pay her own cell phone bill and car insurance.

“And I just got a Blackberry; the extra $30 a month is going to break me.”

So when’s the big Independence Day?

“I have been actively looking into moving into Hoboken, because it is much closer to work,” she says. “But it’s definitely going to be a few more months before I can afford to make the move! I am a little nervous about living on my own; I have always had my parents around for “grown up” decisions. But I definitely understand that living on my own is a natural part of growing up.”

Like Weidman and Tolerico, Katherine Tulley shares a shack with her folks, too. She also graduated this past May and although she subs occasionally, she is currently looking for a full-time job teaching Math.

“Living at home is good in reducing your responsibilities and it’s nice to have a home cooked meal made by someone else,” Tulley says. “But there’s a worry-free aspect of being on your own. No one comments on your cleanliness, or lack of, and what time you get home or sleep in the next day.”

Any Tulley household rules?

“Not really, my mom always said I never had a curfew, but she would always seem to comment on when she “would like” me to come home,” Tulley said. “Also, it’s kind of assumed that you need to help out with dishes and cleaning the house.”

On the flip side, how do the parents feel about having their offspring come back to the nest?

Tulley’s mom, Kathleen says there are two big rules that govern her kid-filled house.

“One, have respect for everyone else, [which includes] picking up [after yourself], keeping music reasonable, and not coming home too late. And two, contribute. If not financially, then at least by helping to cook, clean, and shop.”

Kathleen said she would definitely miss the liveliness that comes along with having the kids back home, but she is not afraid to be an empty nester.

“[I’m] actually looking forward for the opportunity to try something new and different,” Kathleen says. “I welcome having the kids back because I know that in this economic environment, it is the wisest choice. Plus, it will give them the opportunity to save their money so they can eventually be on their own. I would definitely miss the excitement, but would hope to be able to replace it with hobbies and travelling.”

Kathleen feels her daughter is responsible enough to move out, but first needs a full-time job and benefits.

Weidman’s mom, Debbie, thinks her daughter is ready to move out too.

“I think that she will be fine because she is mature and responsible,” Debbie says. “But there will be a transition period during which there will be uncertainty, angst, and many phone calls home.”

Debbie, on the other hand, is afraid of being an empty nester.

“A large part of my time and energy has been centered around my children for 25 years. I love having my kids come back to live at home.”

Not only will she miss the excitement and energy that comes with the territory of housing her children but she will also miss the companionship.

“I’ve always enjoyed having my kids and their friends around the house. When that day ends I will feel old.”

Moving back in with parents is an anti-climatic part of young adulthood. It’s taxing at times, comforting at others, but most importantly, it’s only temporary.

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