Where Have All the TOMBOYS Gone?
My world has always been consumed with ponytails, sweat pants, oversized t-shirts, Michael Jordan’s, Asics, smelly kneepads, swamp ass, practices, games, training, lifting, eating whatever I wanted, setting team goals, achieving personal bests and doing it all over again. Female athletes are rarely described as glamorous or demure and quite frankly, if someone were to describe me as such, it would almost be insulting. As athletes we don’t compare ourselves to other girls and think “oh look at how skinny that girl is or how pretty she is;” we talk about how much weight we can lift or who we can outsprint. Our athletic realm is totally different where if I look in the mirror and see a lack of muscle, I freak out and hit the gym immediately so I can look buff again. Where I see muscle gain, other girls may look in the mirror and see weight gain.
However, let’s fast forward to present day, 7 years removed from my career as a D1 athlete. I still have the same competitive edge, the same mental toughness, the same body shape as an athlete but now I find myself a competitor in a very foreign-to-me environment. I have entered the stylized world of spray tans, fake eye lashes, hair extensions, dieting, photo shoots, fake body parts, standing in a perfect “S” when the cameras flash, and the endless over-analyzing of an every day “look”. No longer am I competing against athletes but now I’m up against ex-beauty pageant contestants who have been in this type of training for a lifetime! And it’s a tough learning curve trying to play catch-up!
About a year and a half ago I had the opportunity to do a morning show as a career coach/branding consultant (I started a reputation management firm.) Immediately I fell in love with the lights, the cameras, the on-air banter, the immediate give and take of live TV. I was a natural and truly enjoyed engaging the audience. I set my goal on being the best regional career/branding coach in the Midwest so as to catch the eye of the national market. After I have established myself as a savvy image/career consultant in the national broadcast arena, the ultimate goal is my own show on Bravo . . . how awesome would that be?!? Entering the lifestyle of wanting to be in the public eye, of opening myself up to a fishbowl existence is something I totally embrace. It’s like being back on the court—anticipating the perfect set so that I can produce the pounding hit to outsmart the competition or gearing up for the stinging block that outsmarts the opponent. I love crowd approval and the roar of winning; the savvy camaraderie of being the best. I am chasing fame because that’s what I do—I chase my dreams, I pursue my goals. So why do I want to be famous? Just the thought of being able to help others better their career life, to become more productive, more confident, more accepting of challenges and to have the security of knowing they can achieve lofty goals is what makes me tick. It’s what excites me. I know I can inspire others—I’ve proven that when speaking on college campuses, in one-on-one conversations, and through my TV appearances.
So let’s back up to the conflict of muscle fierceness vs. flawless persona—how do I balance the person that I have valued in the mirror for 30 years with the person that producers are expecting? I have always marched to the beat of my own drum and find a way to get things done without changing who I am; but I will admit, I find myself inquiring about hair extensions, fake eyelashes and the differences in spray tanning. So does this make me a sell out or am I playing the competitive game? Am I going to start a lettuce and water diet so I can be a size 2?
The only person holding you back in life is you. You will never be successful trying to be someone you are not; people can see right through that. I know I can make it in the industry without being a size 2 because there is a reason why I am where I am and getting opportunities. I know exactly who I am, where I want to go and how I want people to remember me and that has nothing to do with spray tans, skinniness or fake hair. However if you catch me wearing fake eyelashes, having a little bit fuller head of hair and a tan in the dead of winter, just remember, you can dress up a tomboy but you can never take the tomboy out of me. I am definitely not selling out, just playing the game!!
So…this is a very interesting article to me. After I saw your website last year, I realized how your “image” added to your value. Young women look at how well you dress (even when dressed down) and it has to have an impression on them. First, you manage images, but on a larger level you have to draw people to you. This brings me to my point.
I learned (partly from you and partly from others) that if you don’t “look” good, the people will not be drawn to you. Until you speak, your appearance speaks. Your appearance is advertising that never turns off. Needless to say I went shopping and refocused on my diet and exercise habits. I have an image consultant/model/fitness-trainer in New York who coaches me a bit (www.femiolagoke.com) – we played D1 sports together in college.
These things are important; but from a career/business perspective, they make a huge difference. So no, you are not selling out; the balance for me is to LOOK familiar, but BE unique.
Amanda I love this, always keeping it real! I, too, definitely can relate to “you can’t take the tomboy out of me.” I wrote a poem on this recently to express the same kind of feelings, thought of these lines when I read your post:
You can find me in my gown down to my sweats;
I can work the heels and do the flip flops.
I don’t feel a need to be either this or that,
when I can make the best of both worlds.
Thanks for sharing and keeping the energy alive! Love you much!