Rules of Engagement
Accepting an invite from the boss
Although a hefty paycheck may ease dissatisfied employees through temporary stretches of thankless drudgery (and shoe shopping season), individual workplace success has less to do with the moolah and more to do with the milieu. Employee performance, satisfaction and retention have all been linked to a comfortable workplace environment. So, the question must be asked: what makes a typical nine-to-five feel more like cloud nine? One answer: genuine, reciprocating communication between higher-ups and those still climbing the ladder.
What better way to foster that fledgling bud of a relationship than to take up the big cheese on her invitation outside the confines of the rat race? But don’t jump on her offer just yet. First, carefully consider the rules of the game. You want to show her you’re cricket—not a sticky wicket!
Rule #1: Mindfully mull over the invite
Remember when your longtime crush finally popped the question, inviting you to The Peach Pit on a lazy Friday night? Your “yes!! yawped out quicker than light speed. Unfortunate for your pubescent dating life, eagerness is the anti-aphrodisiac and Mr. Wonderful sniffed out your breathless enthusiasm like a strong serving of desperate on toast. Your time and company are valuable commodities. Just as the “teenage you” shouldn’t have thrust your resources at the first cute guy to come along, carefully consider what you’re getting the “adult you” into. If the offer fits into your schedule, involves an activity or event you will enjoy or presents itself as an appropriate vehicle for some face time with the boss, go ahead. Otherwise, a polite decline is preferable over an insufferable evening.
A Saturday night “dinner party” at the office involving Taco Bell take-out and paperwork collating: BAD
A Sunday afternoon round of golf at her country club: GOOD
Rule #2: Dress for the event
The date is set and you’re ready to put your best face forward. So what kind of outfit fits the scene? Even if you’re used to wearing something skimpily comfortable to a Saturday afternoon BBQ, consider how you envision the ladder-climbing worker bee you want to be. Is she dressed in Dolce or dominatrix? Furstenburg or flamboyant? Chanel or showgirl? Wardrobe deconstruction is the native tongue of most women and tacky, provocative garb speaks volumes more about you than you ever could.
That Road Kill Café tee that cracks your brother up paired with the Dukes that show off a little more Daisy than you’ve noticed: BAD
A simple shift paired with handpicked accessories reflective of your personality: GOOD
Rule #3: Mind your P’s and Q’s
Even if you see the imminent event as a means by which to catapult you up the workforce ladder, always remember that your boss is the host and you are her guest. Be yourself, but be the most refined, kind and congenial version of you. It’s okay to excel in a sport and even beat the boss, reveal your knowledge of art and show your dance school moves at a gala event, but obnoxiously rubbing in your skills kills the good impression you had just started making. Mind your manners as you would in any situation where someone has graciously invited you to attend and remember that just because “all the other kids are doing it” , imbibing in liquor may not be the best course of action for a first time out-of-office meeting. Sure, a liquor lube will calm your nerves, but it may also cause a bad case of TMI and too much information in the wrong hands can be like dynamite to your career aspirations.
Recalling the time you were “hammered at the office holiday party and snogged that cute guy in legal and ended up with the itchiest case of ***” : BAD
Filling in just enough of the missing information to give your boss a glimpse of your background AND your vibrant personality: GOOD
Rule #4: Wrap up the night right with your own invite
Your time together is winding down, and you’d really like to make some future plans. Well, the ball’s in your court, baby! As a sign of gratitude, offer up your own invitation. Plan ahead and pick something special. Maybe a charity event is coming up. Or, perhaps you read about a motivational speaker coming to town (ordered up with very little cheese, preferably). A relevant book reading, a spot in a team sport you have heard she’s into or a concert in the park are just a few possibilities. Whatever the event, make sure that it is one that appeals to her interests and will not put her in an uncomfortable position.
Inviting the boss to your whacky cousin Gretta’s Sensual Toys party complete with gyrating show-boys: BAD
Asking the boss to join you at the Tony Robbins seminar and then sharing a good natured laugh about the inessential or just plain schlocky bits afterward: GOOD
Rule #5: Limit locker room ruminations
You made it through the event with style. You have learned more about your boss, she about you and you feel confident that a bond has been forged. Take another tip from dating etiquette and don’t cheapen it by gabbing all the details to your gossipy coworkers. Remember that the goal of your outing is, at least in part, to improve your workplace environment, so only share just enough to satisfy the hungry masses. No one likes a brown nosing, gloating teacher’s pet, anyway. Even better, simply follow your boss’s lead and keep your revelations in line with what she shares about the rendezvous.
Telling Chatty Catty in cubical five every last detail up to the boss’s panty preference which you garnered through a peripheral glimpse during a locker room change before the softball game: BAD
Answering queries about the big wig’s first base skills in terms of her victories and not the one that whizzed right past her: GOOD
The bottom line:
Seize the opportunity to cultivate relations with the big boss, but remember that she is, first and foremost, a human being. Don’t demean yourself or the occasion by abusing her gracious invitation. Keep your wits about you and you’ll come out ahead of the pack not as just another hack.
